Youth Camp Countdown

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to play with The KalebMoore Band (The KMB, if you will. And you will...) at the great Mt. Lebanon. We usually get to play a couple of camps each summer, but this was our only one this year, and it was a doozy. I say that because it was much larger than any camp we've ever played. There were right around 1,000 students at the camp, and I feel like I met all of them. There was a bit of nostalgia involved because I attended both children's camp and youth camp at Mt. Lebanon while I was growing up. After our sets, I would sit in the back of the sanctuary listening to Scott Venable speak while I was completely enveloped in youth sweat and stank. I realized that there is a checklist that each youth group must meet before they are allowed to return to their homes from camp. I have comprised this list below, in no particular order. Please enjoy...

1. No one can take showers more than twice. Most people pass it off as simply not having time, but the truth is that most people just forgot their soap, or they can't take showers among other people without wearing a swimsuit. Then there are your group of people who "swam this afternoon, so I don't really need to take a shower." This, of course, results in kids bringing their bags back home to mom while mom realizes she only needs to wash two pair of underwear because the rest weren't used.

2. You must wear a bandana at some point during the week. It can be wrapped around your head, your arm, or maybe even your leg, but it must be done. This has replaced guys cutting their sleeves off their camp t-shirts and wearing one of the sleeves on their head, which is what was popular in my day. Not sure which one is worse.

3. You must flirt with someone on staff. It may be the girl serving you food, the guy running blind volleyball, or even a lifeguard. If you at least came back to your friends with a "he/she talked to me!!!", then you've succeeded.

4. At least one guy in your group has to shave his head into a mohawk. There is no explanation for this. It doesn't look good, on anyone, and it ultimately results in a complete shaving of your head at home while your parents look on in disappointment. Regardless, it must happen.

5. There must be at least one night where the guys try to sneak over to the girls cabin. This usually happens on the last night after the guys have spent the first 4 days putting together the perfect plan. The unsuccessful missions result in unbelievably angry youth ministers chasing you back to your room, and you dive into your bed pretending to be asleep, swearing to yourself that you heard him say a cuss word. The successful missions usually run you directly into the only female counselor that agreed to go camping and is now sleeping on the other side of the cabin door. Most guys think it's an ogre, and they run back to their rooms and develop new ghost stories about the ogre in the girl's cabin who kind of looks like Melissa's mom.

6. At least half of the girls in each group must immediately fall in love with the drummer of the band. As a matter of fact, most girls are prepared, knowing full well that it doesn't even matter if they ever see the drummer, they are still going to fall in love with him. This, my friends, is true love.

7. There must be at least one counselor in each group that all of the other counselors absolutely hate having there. Normally you will find this counselor making statements like, "How many of y'all have ever tried the milk challenge?" or "I've got a great idea for a chant every time we walk into the cafeteria."

8. There has to be that one kid who won't do ANYTHING! He might be back in the cabin sleeping, getting lost in the woods, or is now hanging out with another church. However you slice it, this kid exists in every youth group. "Hey, where's Timmy?" "I heard him say crab soccer was gay right before he ran off into the woods."

9. There must be that guy who comes to camp only for the rec/tournaments. You know who I'm talking about. It's the guy who wears a different cut-off sleeve shirt every day, the only difference being which sport is on the front, along with gym shorts and tennis shoes. He swaggers through every rec game with a look on his face that says, "I'll give y'all a chance and just go at about 40% right now. Don't make me go 75%." He's also the guy that loses the basketball tournament in the finals and can no longer focus on worship or small group times because he is so disappointed in himself. Speaking of small group times...

10. There must be a Thursday night cry-fest. This usually begins in the sanctuary after the band has played 14 songs during invitation and spills into small groups. Usually, the youth minister is leading everyone in "Sanctuary" or "Heart of Worship" on guitar. Inside the circle, guys are breaking their Puddle of Mudd CDs. Outside of the circle, girls who have been ignoring each other all week because Lisa talked to the lifeguard even though Mandy had dibs on him are now hugging it out and snotting all over each other. If this has not happened, you simply have just not had a good week. This, of course, ends in silence while the youth minister makes everyone quietly go to their cabins so the guys can sneak over to the girls room.

All this to say, I love youth camp! And if you're reading this and you were at at Mt. Lebanon, I miss you and love you guys! WHO-oh-OH-oh-OH-oohhh!!!